


I Loved You

by zhuthotting



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, College AU, M/M, angst tbh, help i have to study, im suck at tag too, mentioned chengstin and ziyi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:30:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhuthotting/pseuds/zhuthotting
Summary: Xukun didn't know where did it go wrong. Everything had changed the moment he realized it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> used to be other fandom fic but i kinda lost inspo huhu

The soft warmth of the sun's ray that fell on his face woke him up from his sleep. His eyes roamed around - he fell asleep on the couch, again, while having Zhengting on his mind. He got off from the couch, headed towards the window and drew the curtains close before he walked towards the kitchen – too much of sunlight for him.

There were lots of memories of him and Zhengting at this house and he hated the fact that he couldn't forget any of them, yet.  The memory of him and Zhengting cuddling on the couch while watching movie during weekend, the memory of Zhengting making him breakfast in the kitchen, and sometimes he messed up with him just for fun but somehow ended up with a making out session in the kitchen, the comfortable silence between them and the feeling of waking up in Zhengting's embrace and getting a morning kiss from him. It had been months since the breakup, but those beautiful memories were still so vivid to him.

Xukun opened the fridge, taking out a carton of milk and poured it into a glass in his hand, before he settled himself down on the counter stool. He stared at nothing but the tiny air. He missed him. He missed him so much that it hurt, that he could die from it. He couldn't stop thinking about Zhengting that he had to busy himself for the whole day. People said first love was hard to forget, but he was sure Zhengting was more than first love to him. He was his life.

The day when he first met Zhengting was still fresh in his head. It was the midterm exam weeks so everyone was quite busy. He went to the library, wanting to study, and that was the first time he saw him. Zhengting sat at the table across him and he just couldn't stop staring at how beautiful he was. He tried to focus on his book, yet he always found himself admiring the guy sitting across his table. Good thing Zhengting didn't realize he was staring for the whole time.

He then made it into his routine to go study in the library. Zhengting was always at the table near the window, the same spot where he first saw him. At times, Zhengting wasn't there and his eyes would start searching around in case he changed his seat, but most of time, Zhengting was just late.

It was that one fateful day when he received a note from the boy he admired from a far, thanks to his loud friends; Fan Chengcheng and Justin who made a fuss in the library. The two of them came to him asking why he ditched them and always was in the library even though the exams period was over. Not to mention, Xukun was never a fan of studying - in fact, he hated studying the most. He didn't answer them, but they understood it somehow when he was just being obvious, not taking his eyes off from the guy who was sitting across his table.

"Go talk to him already," Justin exclaimed, quite loud for the place as quiet as the library.

Xukun was about to shut them up when he saw the boy got up from his chair and walked toward them. His eyes followed his every step until he stopped at their table and handed them a folded post-it. He took the note and put it into his bag, knowing exactly what was on the note. He shoved his books into the bag and left the library with his two nosy friends, while blabbering something about how those two ruined everything and embarrassed him today.

After what happened in the library, he decided not to go to the library again, at least not for the time being. It was nothing to be embarrassed about and he knew he was exaggerating, but he didn't want to meet the boy after being told they were such a disturbance in the library.

Or so he thought.

He was doing his homework when he realized he still had the note from that evening. As much as he hated to read what was in it, he was just curious to see how nice the boy's handwriting was, probably just as beautiful as his face.

He unfolded the sticky note and the moment he read it, he had to admit that those two friends of him were really loud in the library earlier. The note was random, but it made his face turning as red as tomato - a smile hadn't disappeared from his face. That night, he slept with a smile on his face.

_Thank you for always staring at me. I guess that explains why you're here, though you hate library._

Xukun went to the library like the routine it was on the next day, totally ignoring his original plan of not going to the library for a while. Zhengting was already at his favourite spot when he entered the library and he was hesitating, either he wanted to sit in front of him or went to his usual table. He decided to head straight to his usual table across Zhengting's.

Not even a minute after he settled himself on the seat, a chair across his was pulled out from its place and Zhengting was sitting in front of him. To say Xukun was surprised was an understatement - he was literally frozen in his seat the moment he lifted up his face. Zhengting did send him the note, but he never expected him to do something bold like this.

It was quiet, the atmosphere between them, yet it wasn't awkward at all. Zhengting was doing his assignment and Xukun was just, sitting there, sometimes staring at the perfection in front of him like he always did. There was no sign of the pretty boy being uncomfortable with the stare, nor the sign of him would stop appreciating the perfection any time sooner.

"Your name is Cai Xukun, right?" the boy spoke, eyes still on his book. The question caught him off guard but, before he could ask any question, Zhengting continued as if he knew what was on the younger boy's mind, "your friends were loud," he said.

Xukun let out a long 'ah' as he nodded to the boy's explanation, somehow feeling relieved as he wasn't the only one who acted like a creep.

The question and answer session went on, with Zhengting asking while his eyes fixed on his book, barely shifting them to the cute boy across him, and Xukun answering while having his eyes on him, hand supporting his head. By the end of their meeting, he learned few things about the beautiful boy. His name was Zhu Zhengting, he was a business major and was in third year of his study - two years older than him.

Xukun always thought of Zhengting as a loner, nerd and everything along the lines, judging at how he was alone every time he saw him in the library, but he was wrong. The longer he knew Zhengting, the more he understood him. He wasn't a nerd, but studious probably was the right word to describe him. He wasn't a loner either - Xukun was introduced to Zhengting's friend after two months of befriended Zhengting. Both of Zhengting's friends; Zhangjing and Yanjun were the same as Chengcheng and Justin; crazy and loud. The only difference was Zhangjing and Yanjun are a thing, while Chengcheng and Justin, they were complicated. And Zhengting and him, he figured out that there was no exact term to describe their relationship.

"Do you like it here?" Xukun asked when they were in the library.

Zhengting answered with a nod, earning an 'oh' from him. Zhengting put his pen down as he started looking at him with a smile. “It’s because of you,” he uttered, enough to give Xukun’s butterfly in his stomach.

He asked why and Zhengting replied that the first time he went to library, it was because of Zhangjing and Yanjun ditched him, but what made him kept coming to the library was because of a cute guy sitting a table across his. Sometimes the cute guy was writing something on his book, at times, he played with his phone, and most of the time, he stared at him. He had always wanted to talk to the boy but didn't know how. It was without he realized it, he grew to like the library, just as much as he liked the cute boy.

The smile on Xukun's face was getting bigger. He felt the urge to kiss the perfection in front him, yet realizing they were in library he decided not to do that. But then, he felt soft, warm lips on his. He didn't realize when did Zhengting leaned forward towards him and sealed his lips with his, but his eyes closed anyway as he started to kiss Zhengting back. Right, who cared about people watching now?

Zhengting graduated a year later, so did Zhangjing and Yanjun. He got a job offer outside of the city and had been contemplating whether to go or not. Xukun reassured him, saying distance was not a problem, as long as they had trust. Plus, he could always come back on weekend and Xukun's apartment was always open to him. Like that, Zhengting took the offer.

Xukun hated weekdays the most, though he always had Chengcheng and Justin with him, and he was always looking forward to the weekend. Zhengting usually arrived at his apartments at ten something on Friday, after driving for four hours, coming back straight after his office hour ended. He knew he was being selfish, wanting Zhengting to head straight home when he knew it must be tiring for the latter, but he just couldn't go another day without him.

Xukun liked Saturday morning the most among all of the days. He liked the feeling of waking up next to Zhengting, and he liked how he always woke up earlier than Zhengting. Probably because Zhengting was tired from driving so he always slept in, and Xukun always took this chance to admire his beautiful and perfect face, sometimes, attacking the older boy with his good morning kisses, just to earn a smile from him.

On Sunday, Xukun always woke up to an empty bed and the noise from the kitchen. He wanted to cuddle, but Zhengting insisted on making them breakfast. He went to the kitchen after washing up, giving his boyfriend a back hug, and buried his face into the crook of the boyfriend's neck. It was always started with innocent kisses from Xukun, but he didn't know how to stop and that was how Zhengting burnt the breakfast and they ended up eating cereal instead.

Everything was going fine for the first seven months, but things started to change bit by bit. People said long distance relationship was never going to work, and he wanted to prove them they were wrong about it, but he himself didn't know where did it go wrong. Everything already changed the moment he realized it. Zhengting barely went home, but Xukun figured, maybe he had lots of work. Later, Xukun realized, it wasn't the case.

The ringing phone snapped him out from his thought. It was a call from Justin, reminding him there would be a party at his place tonight, if he wanted to join. With his shy personality, all of them knew Xukun wasn't a big fan of party, but he did spend his time partying during his early break up with Zhengting, trying to distract himself from thinking about his now ex-boyfriend. He stopped going to parties when it didn't work.

The day went on fast as he was just sitting on the couch while watching some movies that he hadn't watched with Zhengting. It was evening and Xukun decided to spend his time at Yanjun's bar. Though it was over between him and Zhengting, he was glad Yanjun and Zhangjing was still there with him. Yanjun served him a drink, asking him how his day was. Zhangjing was there too, trying to cheer him up. No one had mentioned about Zhengting when he was around - it was like an unspoken rule between them.

Xukun left the bar before nine, in case he would bump into Zhengting. His ex-boyfriend spent his time there when he came back to the city and meeting him would be last thing he wanted to happen even though he missed him. He slumped himself on the couch with loads of thought on his mind. He blamed Zhengting for whatever happened to him so that he could hate Zhengting – he was the one who gave him the note, he was the one who approached him first, he was the one who talked to him first, he was the one who kissed him first – but he knew he couldn't bring himself to hate him. And so, tonight too, he slept with the same wishes as last night – wishing that all they need was a break, not break up, wishing that Zhengting would come back to him, wishing that when he opened his eyes the next morning, Zhengting was next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't proofread and all so pls ignore all those typos and grammatical error  
> 


	2. when you love someone (sequel)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So do these four months convince you that my feeling has never changed?” Xukun asked with a smirk that he didn’t mean to. And Xukun knew Zhengting was hurt hearing that, if the change in his expression was anything to go by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall thought i'm just gonna end it like this? nah no way!
> 
> lol i actually i was so busy so i'm afraid i'll never finish writing the sequel

Zhengting entered the bar belonged to his best friend, looking a  _bit_  miserable than how he usually was. His legs were dragged straight to the bar counter where he could see his friend was serving a customer. He was never a big fan of club and bar – the people were crowded and the music were too loud to his liking, but this was the only place he could come back to for now.

His friend who noticed his appearance approached him with a faint smile. That smile which he knew the meaning behind it.

"You're looking like a total wreck," Yanjun claimed, putting a glass on the counter and poured him some drink. He looked at him apologetically. The look that had the same meaning as the smile flashed on his face before.

"Xukun was here just now," he continued after Zhengting finished his drink in one-shot. "You both are so miserable. You’re the one who want this, shouldn’t you at least be happy? I don’t understand why you are suffering. " Zhengting knew his friend couldn't comprehend anything that happened between him and Xukun. No one had expected their relationship would turn out to be like this - they were once a happy couple, but things started to fall apart out of blue. No one knew the reason, not even Xukun.

Zhengting was just sitting there, not doing anything, not replying to his friend's words. He stared at nothing but the air while his head replayed everything he once had with Xukun.  _His_  Xukun.

He didn’t expect a stranger would have so much effect on him. The first time he saw Xukun was in the library, Zhengting thought he was cute, and that was all to it. He was busy with his studies, and having a crush on a stranger who once sitting across his table in the library was not something he wanted at that time. But Zhengting always felt like there was a pair of eyes staring at him. Weird enough, he didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

The next day came and Zhengting took a seat at the same table as the day before. He didn't expect anything, he told himself, but when the boy had not appeared in the library ten minutes after he settled down at his seat, he was disappointed. Though, a few minutes later, his lips curled up, forming a small smile as he looked down at his book again. Zhengting, without he realized it, kept stealing glances at the boy. Days passed, and it had been a month since they both kept secretly looking at each other. Zhengting could feel every time the boy's eyes were on him, and if the boy felt the same every time Zhengting admired his pretty face, he sure didn't say anything about it to him.

It was just an innocent crush, Zhengting was so sure about that. But when his heart won't stop pounding every time he saw him, when he kept wanting to talk to him, and when he kept wanting to know how the stranger’s plump lips taste on his own lips did, Zhengting decided he had fallen too deep for a guy whom he didn't even knew his name.

Lucky for him, his feeling was reciprocated because when two loud guys came to the library with their loud voices, they were pretty much telling him, though not directly, that their friend too, liked him. Zhengting took a post-it, writing something down on it before he handed him the folded post-it, because if he didn't do it at that time, he didn't think he could do it. He watched the boy shoved his stuffs into his backpack, leaving the library with his two friends.

Maybe he was wrong about that, Zhengting thought.

Zhengting didn't have any reason to go to the library the next day, but he found himself walking to the place anyway, sitting at his usual table. When the cute boy appeared, and slowed his pace down as he walked passed by him, looking hesitated, Zhengting realized his feeling was right.

Muttering ‘fuck it’ to himself, he got up from the chair and took a seat across the cute guy. The guy was shocked, but the good kind of shocked. There wasn’t any awkward atmosphere between them, surprisingly. They spent the time in the library talking about each other, while the cute guy, whose his name was Cai Xukun, kept staring at him. Zhengting too, if it wasn’t for the test he would be having on the next day, would spend his time looking at the perfection in front of him instead his macroeconomic book.

They were just naturally being in a relationship, that was what they told their friends – there was no ‘will you be my boyfriend?’ or ‘are we dating?’ or anything along the lines. Their relationship changed after he initiated a kiss in the library (Zhengting is still wondering how the heck he got so much courage to kiss Xukun at that time, but he’s glad he did). Maybe because they started to feel more comfortable with each other, but they pretty much invaded each other’s personal space – cuddling with each other every time they spent their time at Zhengting’s or Xukun’s place. They spent their day together, eating together whenever they had no class, holding hand and kissing each other whenever they had the chance to. They were disgustingly cute, as claimed by Zhangjing, or disgustingly annoying, as stated by Yanjun.

When Xukun told him ‘I love you’ for the first time on a ferris wheel ride at an amusement park, Zhengting nodded, a smile appeared on his face. The words didn’t sound like it had been uttered for the first time, instead it sounded like something Xukun had been telling him for forever, through his actions, through how he looked at Zhengting, through how he treated Zhengting. Zhengting gave a peck on Xukun’s lips. “I know, I love you too.”

They decided their day one was the day Zhengting kissed Xukun in the library.

Their relationship was perfect. It was flawed, but they would like to think it was perfect nevertheless. They fought like other couples, and made up a few hours later, usually Zhengting letting Xukun won every argument because he couldn’t stand the silent treatment Xukun giving him. Sometimes, they fought over the smallest and childish thing, like that one time when Xukun almost set Zhengting’s kitchen on fire even after he was banned from entering it, or that one time when Xukun almost failing his subject because he kept staring at Zhengting instead of studying for his finals (“how is it my fault when you were right in front of me?”, “did you just say it was my fault?”, “no.”)

When Zhengting graduated from university a year later and was offered a job outside of the city, he was contemplating. Taking the offer means he would be staying a few hours away from Xukun and he didn’t want that. But Xukun insisted him to take the offer, saying he didn’t want to be someone who stop Zhengting from his dream and his apartment was always open for him. Zhengting found that cute, and he knew he fell deeper and harder for him.

"Xukun can't even move on because you leave him hanging like that. He doesn't even know what he did wrong Zhengting. You suddenly distance yourself from him. He has been saying you guys broke up, but did you really, Zhengting?" Yanjun's word snapped him out of his thoughts. "I don't think so. You just suddenly ignore him without any explanations."

"It  _was_  suffocating," a word escaped Zhengting's lips. "The relationship," he paused, asking Yanjun to pour him another drink before giving his best friend a faint smile and a shrug.

Where did everything go wrong? Zhengting asked himself, and the answer was always the same every time the question popped up in his mind. They were happy once – their relationship was once perfect, but everything went down the drain few months after they started living away from each other, and there was no one to blame, but Zhengting himself.

He once was always excited for Friday. It was tiring driving straight away from his work place to Xukun’s apartment, but he liked it. It didn’t matter to him, for as long as he could be with Xukun because he loved spending time with him. He loved it when Xukun opened the door of his apartment for him (though he knew the passcode to Xukun’s apartment) and welcomed him with a warm hug and kisses. He loved having a fight with Xukun, he loved seeing Xukun pouting, he loved when Xukun tried to cook for him, even though the food wasn’t that good (but edible enough). He loved it when Xukun chose to watch horror movies just because Zhengting hated horror movies, and Zhengting ended up watching Xukun instead while playing with his fingers. Zhengting loved being home.

Sunday always came too quick for Zhengting. Sometimes, they went on date on that day, but usually they stayed at home, cuddling, or just lying next to each other with no words spoken. When the evening came, Xukun pouted, saying how short the weekend was and how he wanted to spend more time with him, but still sent him off with his smile and kisses. Zhengting liked that about him.

But then, Ziyi came into the picture and things started to crumble down. Ziyi was Xukun’s childhood friend who happened to move in to the unit a floor above them. Zhengting wasn’t that childish to be jealous over that small matter, but when Xukun didn’t stop talking about the childhood friend every time he came back to their home, his well-concealed inferiority complex and insecurity started to show.  

The Friday that was always exciting for him slowly turned into something he wanted to avoid, especially after he saw Xukun with Ziyi at a café, laughing happily. He had always known he was never good enough for Xukun, and Ziyi presence didn’t make it any better – in fact, it just made it worse. He was always busy with his works, and Ziyi was there with Xukun all the time. It felt like Ziyi eventually took his spot as someone who was always with Xukun.

There were so many what ifs on his mind – what if Xukun gradually started to have a change of heart? What if the only reason Xukun and Ziyi weren’t together yet because he was still him?  Zhengting hated to think about that but it crossed his mind more than he wanted. He wanted to be with Xukun, he wanted Xukun to look only at him, and he wanted Xukun for himself.

Zhengting realized he had been possessive over Xukun when he was being ridiculous, not letting Xukun went out meeting Ziyi when all that he wanted was just a help from Xukun, or that one time when he rejected Ziyi’s call when Xukun was in the shower and didn’t even tell Xukun about that until this day.  He didn’t want to scare Xukun with how possessive he could be, so he decided to distance himself from his boyfriend, trying to clear his mind while telling himself nothing between Xukun and him was going to change.  

But it was easier said than done. The more he distanced himself from Xukun, the bigger the fear he had – the fear of breaking up with Xukun. So he kept running away from Xukun, afraid that whatever he feared of would become reality. The thoughts and the fear eventually became so suffocating for him, and when it had been so unbearable to him, Zhengting decided maybe he should face the reality and had a talk with Xukun. And yet, before he could do that, a mistake happened and Zhengting didn’t think he could face Xukun anymore.

"I don't know but if you really want to get things right again, Xukun's apartment passcode is still the same,” Yanjun told him after he demanded an explanation from Zhengting. “Not that I want you to barge into his house, but if you don’t, no one will open the door for you. Xukun pretty much is lying on the couch every day, doing nothing.”

Zhengting’s heart broken into pieces upon hearing that. What had he done?

 

 

-

 

 

Xukun woke up on the bed, making him wonder when did he walk to his room because he was so sure he fell asleep on the couch again last night. It was then he realized an arm was wrapped around him. He turned around to see someone he loved was lying next to him. He brought his hand to Zhengting’s face, trailing every inch of his features that he missed so much. He’s beautiful, he thought.

“I miss you.”

Xukun looked at the owner of the voice – he wanted to give him the sweetest smile, but he couldn’t. Instead, he removed the arm wrapping around him and got up before Zhengting could kiss his forehead. Zhengting followed him, sitting on the bed, only it was clear that he was surprised with the younger boy’s sudden action.

"I miss you, Zhengting. I miss you so much," Xukun paused, distancing himself from the older boy. "But you can't expect me to pretend like everything is fine when it's not. You can't expect me to pretend to be the same after all this mess. I can't," Xukun was so close to breaking down. He ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. This wasn’t what he had on his mind when he wished he woke up next to Zhengting last night. He thought he would ignore what happened for the past four months, he thought he would hug Zhengting and welcome him with open arms, but now that his ex-boyfriend (as claimed by Xukun) was right in front him, he was wrong, apparently. He wished he could do all of that, he wished he could forget whatever happened in the past months, so they could be together again, but things weren't that easy. It'd be unfair to him. He deserved an explanation from Zhengting.

"Xukun, I'm sorry."

" I don't need an apology. I need an explanation."

"I was afraid," Zhengting uttered, taking a deep breathe before he continued again. "You talked about Ziyi a lot, and I started to think things. I saw you with Ziyi once - you guys were close and I was jealous. I didn't know what I should do. I started to worry about a lot of things,” he searched for Xukun’s hand. “I barely have time for you Xukun, and Ziyi is always here with you. I was afraid if I came back here, you'd say something I don't want to hear so I stopped coming back.”

“So do these four months convince you that my feeling has never changed?” Xukun asked with a smirk that he didn’t mean to. And Xukun knew Zhengting was hurt hearing that, if the change in his expression was anything to go by.

“It’s not like that. It is my fault. I didn’t know how to face you,” Zhengting seemed hesitant to continue. “The thoughts were stressing me out. I got drunk and I made a mistake,” he finished his words carefully and Xukun’s hand slowly slipped away from his.

"I need to be alone now," Xukun murmured, enough for Zhengting to hear it. Zhengting probably knew what he meant, because after that, he heard the door to his room was opened and closed.

Xukun laid down on his bed, curling up. Tears were streaming down his cheeks - he didn't know what he should do. He didn't expect this kind of situation to ever happen to him, at least not when he was with Zhengting. Xukun, not even a second had he ever doubted his feeling for Zhengting even though he was miles away from him, even though he knew Zhengting could get anyone he wanted to, because no one in their right mind would reject him. But, Xukun trusted him, he trusted that if anything happened, Zhengting would talk to him, not shutting him down without any reason for months.

Xukun was disappointed. And he didn’t even to think about that mistake – he felt his world collapsing the moment he heard that.

 

 

Xukun finally moved from his bed when his handphone won’t stop ringing. He went to the living room, taking the phone which was on the coffee table just to see there were seventeen missed calls from Yanjun. Just when he wanted to call Yanjun back, his phone rang again, from Yanjun.

“Xukun, are you okay? Why didn’t you answer my calls before?” Yanjun sounded worried and it made him smile.

“I wasn’t in the mood,” he answered as he slumped himself on the couch.

“Xukun,” there was a pause, as if Yanjun was waiting for him to say something so Xukun just hummed as a reply. “Did you have a talk with Zhengting?”

“You knew everything,” Xukun said, feeling betrayed.

“He came to me last night. I mean, he is always here on weekend, but last night he looked so miserable Xukun. He told me everything, and I’m sorry – I’m the one who asked him to go to your place.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m not in a place to say anything –I don’t know what are you feeling towards each other, I’m not in your shoes, but you don’t have to forgive him if you are not ready yet, Xukun. I don’t want things between you guys become worse if anything happens again. Just don’t do anything that you will regret later,” Yanjun sounded sincere and Xukun knew, he was.

“Where is him?” he asked.

“My house obviously. Does he have anywhere else to go?”

“Is he okay?” Xukun tried so much not to sound like he was worried, but his tone betrayed him.

“Yeah. I mean, maybe.”

The call was ended a few conversations later. Yanjun told him Zhengting had always been insecure about himself, but Xukun didn’t know that. According to Yanjun, Zhengting, despite of being perfect in everyone’s eyes, has never thought of himself as someone who was good enough at anything. But he gradually changed when Xukun came into his life. He worried less about not being good enough, and Yanjun had never seen him being that happy. So, when suddenly Ziyi came into their life, it was understandable, at least for Yanjun, why he started to act like that. Was it his own fault? Xukun wondered alone. But in his defense, he told Zhengting everything because he didn’t want him to misunderstand them.

Xukun groaned frustratingly – what should he do now?

 

 

 

It was ten in the evening and Xukun found himself standing in front of Yanjun’s apartment. Yanjun’s words echoed in his head – just don’t do anything that you will regret later. Would he regret this later? Probably yes. But he probably would regret it more if he didn’t do this, so Xukun pressed the bell at the door, hoping that someone would open the door.

A few seconds later, Xukun was inside the house, following Zhengting to the living room. Zhengting settled himself down on the couch and Xukun awkwardly stood there – didn't know where he should sit. Should he sit next to Zhengting? But wouldn't it be more awkward?

"Oh," Xukun heard Zhengting said. "Do you want some drink?" Zhengting stood up and headed to the kitchen.

Zhengting's tone sounded icy cold to Xukun, and he once again was frozen in the living room, didn't know what he should do in this situation. At last, he decided to follow Zhengting to the kitchen.

Zhengting offered him the glass filled with orange juice. Xukun took it from him, put the glass on the counter which was just beside them and he took Zhengting's hands, hold them tight. He had his thoughts sorted out the evening. Yeah, it was Zhengting's fault for jumping to his own conclusion without talking to him first. But he figured, he also was to be blamed. Maybe he shouldn’t get carried away talking about Ziyi, maybe he shouldn’t talk about Ziyi 24/7, but he was just excited about meeting his childhood friend. (Xukun mentally slapped himself)

Xukun shifted his eyes from their hands to the older boy’s eyes. He wanted to hug him. Xukun wanted to tell Zhengting that he was all his, he wanted to tell Zhengting that his love for him had never changed, that Zhengting was all he ever wanted and that he didn’t mind stop hanging out with Ziyi if that would make him better.

"Can I kiss you?" Xukun asked and before Zhengting could answer, he pressed his lips onto his.

Xukun kissed him gently and warmly before he felt Zhengting pulling him harder against him, so Xukun kissed him harder and deeper. It was full emotions; regret, longing, and comforting in a way words couldn’t describe it. Oh god, I love you, Xukun uttered every time they paused, catching their breathe. Xukun arms circled him, as if he was afraid Zhengting would run away from him again.

When they broke out the kiss, Zhengting plopped down on the floor, eyes full with tears. Xukun kneeled down beside him.

"Why did you forgive me so easily? Do I deserve to be forgiven?" Zhengting looked at Xukun in the eyes.

Xukun pulled him into his hug, tight. He smiled. "You know ‘Ting, when you told me you slept with a stranger, I really wanted to kill you, l really did. But maybe because I love you too much so that's why I easily forgive you?" he planted a kiss on Zhengting's forehead. He was totally bewitched by Zhengting. “And, you know what, you’re not allowed to drink without me,” he stated, only to have Zhengting pulled out from the hug, giving him an are-you-serious sort of look.

“I don’t know. It’s not me who go around sleeps with people when drunk,” he shrugged.

Zhengting slapped his arm at the answer, and Xukun giggled, pulling him back into his hug.

 

-

 

Xukun graduated from university five months later, but they were still living miles away from each other. Finding job was hard these days, so he decided to work at Zhangjing’s newly opened café. Zhengting had been convincing him that with his current position, he was more than able to support both of them, but Xukun was stubborn, saying he didn’t want to be a burden for his boyfriend. It made Zhengting smiled.

Xukun only worked on weekdays because according to Zhangjing, he should spend the weekend at his boyfriend’s place. Though, there were times when the café was short on staff and he had to work on weekend, and when that happened, Zhengting would spend the weekend at Xukun’s place. Their relationship was going back to how it used to be and both of them couldn’t ask for anything more than this.

“Xukun I have something to say,” Zhengting shifted his eyes from the television to his boyfriend’s face who was lying on the sofa, his head rested on Zhengting’s lap.

Xukun hummed, signing he was listening to the older boy, though his eyes were still on his mobile phone, reading his favourite manga.

“What do you say about us living together in your apartment?” He asked, didn’t expect his boyfriend would be so taken aback by that question.

“No,” Xukun put his phone away and settled himself to be sitting on the sofa, facing Zhengting. “I mean it’s because you know, I got a job at a company near your work place and I will start working there next week,” he explained with a grin when he noticed Zhengting’s expression changed at his sudden exclamation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I want it to be a surprise.”

Zhengting let out a sigh. “I wouldn’t have submitted my resignation letter if you told me earlier. I was offered a job at your city and I accept that.”

“What? So do we have to live away from each other again?” Xukun pouted and Zhengting couldn’t help it but to give him a quick peck on his lips.

“Maybe I can take it back from my boss? He loves me after all.”

“ _I_  love you,” Xukun said, before attacking his boyfriend with his kisses.

Zhengting decided he would worry about this tomorrow, and when tomorrow came, they decided if nothing worked out, they would just find some place located in between their work places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i don't think i actually delivered zhengting's inferiority complex and insecurity properly but i hope you guys understand where he's coming from?? also i'm suck at kissing scene and the titles credit to day6 because i'm unoriginal like this. this is also not proofread.
> 
> anyway, are you guys up for some zhengkun seoulmate tattoo au?? i kinda wrote up to two chapters now but the update might be very slow


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